Running In Place

2004-08-03T21:00:00.000-04:00

I'm moving...

Figuratively and literally.

After a recent blogger lament, Mark so very kindly decorated a room for me at Complete Running . From now on, I will be blogging at Running in Place . Tune in there for more of my madcap adventures.

Yes, so I am walking - and it is good, it is so good, I can't tell you how good it is. I have been able to walk for 30-40 minutes at a time, mostly at a brisk pace (excluding some warm up and cool down time). I do some stretches after and my muscles are really tight and inflexible, but that will pass. The real news is that the pain is so not an issue - there is a vague soreness in my ankle at first, and really so vague that I don't know if I would call it soreness so much as awareness. I was so entrenched in the idea that the pain would never go away that this is like some gift from the sky. Sure, everyone else knew I was being a drama queen :) I guess the real story is, and this comes as no surprise to anyone who has been through any adverse situation, it sucks like hell but then you pick up some perspective, you pick up some knowledge, and you pick up some gratitude. So that's all good - I'm kinda glad for that.

The plan, man...

I have been walking and I plan to do that 4 days a week for the next 2 weeks. I have returned to the gym and am doing a circuit 2 days a week which I'll just keep on doing. After the 2 weeks of walking, I don't have a specific program but there are a million beginner run 1 minute walk 4, run 2 minutes walk 3, etc. plans that I can choose from. I'll cruise around my books, magazines, and web sites and see what sounds right - and by right I mean nice and slow. And I'm ok with that right now, I know what rushing got me. But I'll definately be doing some running by the time I get to Ireland so that will be super super cool!

Seriously rethinking my sneakers...

When I first began running I was wearing my old New Balance cross trainers (which I never wore for crosstraining, I wore them for my part time waitressing job). When I decided I was really going to run, I thought I'd better look into some shoes. I have always thought I had a high arch, though not high enough to require special shoes under normal circumstances, but when I did the wet-foot-on-newspaper test I had the textbook high-arch print. When I went to the sneaker store, the one with the treadmill and the "experts," my feet were glanced at and I was told my arch "wasn't that bad." So I got shown a bunch of neutral shoes and they all felt fine walking around the store, and I didn't know any better at the time, so I got a pair of Nike Pegasus. They are very comfortable on my feet but in running, I alway had the sensation that my foot was being pushed inward during my stride, and I would try to compensate by forcing my outer foot more outward - in other words, trying to compensate my gait. When I started walking again recently, I went out and got some Dr. Scholl's arch supports. They definately help correct that inward motion but they elevate my heel too high so that it does not rest snuggly, resulting in a most unpleasant blister at my right achilles (most high kudos to Band-Aid's bliter bandages!!). So shitcan the arch supports.

Anyway, to make a long story longer - I need new sneaks, I need to be a more aware and informed running shoe consumer, and I need to do it prior to re-starting my running in (hopefully) about a week and a half. Any input from any suppinators would be highly valued.

Just to review...

From now on, you're welcome to come here to stroll down memory lane with me, but for the latest and greatest please come to

http://completerunning.com/running-in-place/

2004-07-26T22:19:00.000-04:00

This appears to be cool…

It turns out that at the end of September I will be going to Ireland for several days. Evidently, one of the things it may promise to be while I’m there is wet – so I have been shopping around for waterproof/resistant stuff. One of the things it seemed to make sense to have was some non-cotton socks as I expect to be doing a lot of walking/hiking. At 12 bucks a pop, the prospect of buying several pairs of Coolmax socks seemed pretty daunting so I checked out the ol’ ebay and here's what I found . I got 8 pairs of Coolmax socks for $14.99 ($22.99 with S/H and insurance)! Even if they’re seconds, unless they’re completely deformed, I think I made out. Hell, if 2 of the pairs were useable I would have gotten my money’s worth. So I was pleased. Once I actually get them I will report further on their quality.

Thinking, always thinking, about the future…

While shopping yesterday, I went to an outdoor shopping center and made it a point to park at the far side of one end and walk to the other and back for my excursions. Not a huge parking lot, maybe a half mile by the time I walked to one end and back (leisurely, not briskly). The outcome? Some soreness, but not too bad. The upshot? Let’s walk!

I’ve been looking around on the internet, specifically for a post-injury training schedule. I did find this , which had some useful information but seemed like way too much for me right now (or in the near future). I was only running about 10 minutes before I got injured and this schedule suggests 5 minutes right off the bat – for me it sounds like too much, too soon. The schedule that I was originally using (before I got froggy and jumped ahead), from Prevention magazine, is unsurprisingly conservative and probably about right for me. Pfitzinger’s statement that it can take 90 days or more to heal a stress fracture completely was very comforting to me as the standard 6 – 8 weeks that I always read about has passed and I know I’m not completely healed as yet. It was good to hear that healing can take longer as I was starting to get paranoid that I would never be really be done with this.

Public commitment = public shame…
Tomorrow I will do something. I will move. (I’d do it now but it’s bedtime).

Just ONE moment to be sentimental...

Who, but the RBF, would be so supportive when an absoulute beginner started blogging about running 2 minutes straight? Who, but the RBF, would offer advice at every request, and praise every little step forward? Who but the RBF would patiently listen to me whine, lament, and make excuses - and continue to give me endless encouragement and hopefulness? If I was involved in a running club, or had friends who run (or even understand why I would run), it might be different, and I might have had alternative sources of support. But that is not the case at this time and that is why I am so tremendously, amazingly grateful to have stumbled in. The universe is good.

2004-07-21T23:19:00.000-04:00

Just a brief intermission from the real concerns of life to crab about Blogger...

When I initiated this blog, Blogger assigned me www.running-in-place.blahblahblah and the the site could also be reached at running-in-place.sans the www. Ok, 2 ways to get there but when I make a new post only one of those sites will be updated right away (if I'm lucky). So my post yesterday may have shown up at the www site and not the other, and today's post may be vice versa. Depending on from whence you link, you may or may not see a new post for at least a few days - and longer in some cases. Template changes I've made to my sidebar show up in preview and remain in template but are not showing up on either URL, and probably won't for a couple of days.

You know, I'm so not picky about visual stuff - if the color isn't offensive and the font doesn't give you a headache I'm happy enough - but when I wanna post, dammit I wanna post - not post and wait 2 - 3 days before my post shows up here or there.

'Kay, that's all I've got for today.

2004-07-20T21:00:00.000-04:00

I'm here...

     Uninspired, unmotivated, but here. It has been a busy couple of weeks at work and my internet time has been minimal, but the real story is that I'm just being damn sluggish. Looking back at the enthusiasm of my previous post, I feel a little embarrassed.

So what's going on???

     I think I'm afraid. I still think about running all the time, and any time I pass someone running when I'm driving I am like some rubber-necking voyeur, trying to watch them as long as I can in the rearview - having flights of imagination that it's me, or glimmers of hope that it eventually will be. The thing is, even though the Dr. cleared me for running again, I still haven't because I'm still having pain. Not alot, not hardly any - mostly soreness to lesser and greater degrees, particularly in the morning, strangely. But enough to make me way more skittish than I would have imagined. It's not related to weight bearing, it's related to range-of-motion, and so some stupid movement will remind me that I'm not healed and leave me completely discouraged despite a day that was otherwise pretty comfortable.

     So I'm nervous - I sit and wonder if the pain will ever completely go away. Common sense says it will but it's been long enough that it's hard to imagine not having it. Eight weeks feels like a long time, and maybe it's really not in the scope of healing from an injury, maybe I'm just impatient. But even though the doc gave me the ok to run - my gut is telling me that I shouldn't. I am so scared of going out there and re-injuring myself in any way and being sidelined again.

So how's the crosstraining going?...

     Yeah, well...um.....

Some cheese with that whine...

     The real story is that I am being lazy. I know I'm not ready to run just yet but there's a hundred other things I could do and I am really just dragging my feet. I keep waiting for magical inspiration to come like a lightning bolt when I know that what it's always been about is just going ahead and doing it - making the time, making the effort, making the committment. I'm just having such difficulty getting back there.

     So anyway, thanks for missing me :) Thanks for the prompt, Jon ! I have been remiss in keeping up on RBF blogs and that makes me more sluggish because they are so motivational and encouraging to me. I hope to be speaking the truth when I say I'm back!!

    "Care is taken that trees do not grow into the sky."   - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

2004-07-06T19:38:00.000-04:00

Free at last...

My convalescence ends today! Went to the orthoped and heard everything I expected - yep it's a stress fracture (what?? a stress fracture??!?), yep it's healing right along, yep you can start running again (as in learn to walk - then run). I did get the "if you do what you did, you'll get what you got" talk, not that I haven't been ruminating on and bolstering myself against going down that wicked path again for the past 5 weeks! The doc cautioned me that I am healing - not healed - stressed rest days, not increasing too quickly, backing off if pain increases, etc. He can caveat all he wants - I am very very excited!!

So, silly as I tend to be, between 5/26/04 and this day I could have been bike riding, swimming, doing some weights - instead, I did not a thing. I'm not complaining - I wasn't motivated, I was grieving (I know, sounds dramatic), I was uninspired because I couldn't do the thing I most wanted to do. Now that I have the go ahead to work slowly back into a running program I'm all like, ok tomorrow I'll walk, the next day I'll bike, the next day I'll do weights, blah blah blah. Now I'm thinking I'll be Susie-crosstrainer. I guess I've been cut out of my psychological body cast :D

My real plan is to not do any running for a couple more weeks as I still do have some occasional pain - more from certain ranges of motion than from weight bearing, but I do plan to get back on my little trail and start walking walking walking, and I am seriously contemplating dragging the bike up from the basement. All of the RBF enthusiasm for biking, plus going on a bike ride with my sis yesterday is starting to wear me down! At this point, my thought is to walk for 2 weeks (and resist the urge to jog just a couple of steps quite yet), then evaluate where I am pain-wise. Hopefully, at that point I will be able to start a real gentle walk/run program. Gentle, slow, patient, kind...

I'm really happy!

Boilermaker Fever...

Well, this Sunday is the 27th running of the Boilermaker Road Race and the Utica area is really keyed up! My original plan was to run the 5K Training Run, which is the last 1/3 of the course, this year and swing for the race next year. The registration for this course usually closes about a month before the run, and even the thousands of positions to volunteer are filled well before the race. The community support is awesome - for the entire course the spectators are 3-deep on the sides of the roads, hootin' and hollerin'. I will definately be at the curb, cheering everyone on and thinking about next year!!! :D

2004-06-24T21:49:00.000-04:00

Vindicated but crabby...

Yep, there it was - on my 3rd x-ray - healing tibial stress fracture! Finally!! I was beginning to feel like such a big baby - I knew something was wrong but my doc kept saying he couldn't see that anything was wrong (other than "arthritis"). He wouldn't ok a bone scan because he said it didn't act like a stress fracture and insisted I see a podiatrist before an orthopedist. So, one month later, almost to the day, I am finally diagnosed and will finally get to see the ortho (almost like it matters now). The pain has improved by about 60-70% in the past week and looking at a usual prognosis, I hope that I will be told I can start walking/running in another 2-3 weeks so it's definately a relief to a) have a concrete diagnosis, b) see a specialist and c) let go of the idea that I am just a big wuss (my body knows the truth but my head doesn't cut me much slack).

I am crabby with my doc, because he didn't seem to take my concerns seriously. I know he was just looking at things empirically but the symptoms and mode of injury fit, even if the location of pain didn't (his explanation being that most stress fractures are in the foot). In fairness, the podiatrist didn't think it was a fracture either at first, he was ready to chalk it up to tendonitis but I hounded him into taking some more pictures and there it was - smiling brilliantly.

I'm mostly mad at myself - to some degree because I wasn't more assertive with my doc. He is generally easy going and will order just about anything I ask for so when he balked at a bone scan I was surprised. I don't know if pushing him would have done any good, but I didn't so... I'm left with the feeling that I want to hand deliver the podiatry report to his office and say nyah nyah, told ya so.

The good from the bad...

Blessings in disguise are kind of like the gods delivering a lesson to you and saying nyah nyah, we told ya so. Part of me still wants to be angry with myself for what is ultimately an unnecessary injury - I did too much, too fast - classic. I got down on myself because I didn't think I was doing what "a runner" should be doing. I was mortified at the thought of running with other people and having to take a walk break, I was terrified of the idea of running a 5K and coming in last, I was embarrassed by how long it took me to run a mile. All of these expectations and comparisons I placed on myself – impatience!

So I am learning to run by not running, and I hope to be a better runner for it. Redefining myself as a runner will be an ongoing project, I imagine – moving slowly, learning patience, forgiving myself. Hopefully not to rule out working hard, testing my limits, pushing myself, finding ways to improve – but smarter (please, I hope I can be smarter).

2004-06-17T17:40:00.000-04:00

Let's start with the fun stuff...

Just prior to leaving on vacation, I had the opportunity to do some white water rafting up north of me on the Black River, which is a Class III-IV (on 1-6 rating scale). From what I was told, the water was at a good level (high enough to have some good rapids, but not too overwhelming for a beginner like me). Thanks to the skill of our guide, we mostly just had to paddle like hell when ordered to do so and no one fell out and we hit no rocks. It was so great - I would do it every weekend if I could (afford it!), but boy was I sore for a few days afterward!

This was coming up on the biggest rapid of the day, called "The Crusher."

Heading into it (I am the second on the right - mouth wide open :D - I was counting strokes, not screaming, I swear!). My son is face down in the middle of the boat after getting knocked over by a wave.

I guess this was the climax! We are covered with water but we never lost the boat or had anyone fall out (though one guy came very close). One of the other boats in our group lost nearly everyone over the side on this rapid (no injuries).

Props to Reba yet again:
At the very beginning of the trip, the guide said that we needed a battle cry for each time we conquered a rapid - so with paddles raised above our heads, in heady defiance of peril, mother nature, and common sense - ONWARD it was! Thanks girl!!

Back in the real world...

No fracture, no stress fracture, some improvement. The Dx is "degenerative joint disease" (read: arthritis) and bone spurs on my achilles tendon. The pain finally began to subside 3 days ago and I haven't had to have the naproxen today. There's still pain but it is most definately lessened and that does my spirit good. I will be seeing a podiatrist and hope that there is a conservative way to address this.

Even though this Dx represents a chronic problem, I am actually relieved to discover that it's not an outright injury, but more of an exacerbation of a problem that already existed. Maybe that's strange, but it helps me to stop blaming myself. Also, the fact that this is something I will always have to be mindful of in the future, I will be forced to have patience and to be a little kinder to myself as I start running again.

Wretched soul searching (just a little)...

As I sit with my foot up, I've been reading No Need For Speed by John "the Penguin" Bingham. There was a part of me that, in the privacy of my own room, was embarrassed that I was reading it - like saying I accept that I may have limitations equalled I'm not good enough, I'm not a runner. As a person who wastes alot of time comparing myself to others, and making sure to find and highlight my shortcomings, I struggled during my short time running, with thinking of myself as a runner. Looking back, it was of such huge importance to me to not have to take walk breaks - that was my big IT - gotta ditch those walk breaks. Never mind that I added 3 minutes to my mile by trying to run it rather than taking short walk breaks periodically. I felt the need to rush it because I was worried that I was not a runner if I had to walk. Just about every chapter of John's book applied to me in regards to unrealistic goals, comparing yourself, and just finding the joy in just running.

What I'm slowly learning...

I am thinking that I am a runner - because all the time I have spent NOT running has committed me to running more than ever. The day I go out and walk one minute and run 15 seconds will be a very joyous day for me - and later down the road, I am ready to forgive myself in advance for taking walk breaks if I need to and remember how happy I am just to be running at all. I guess that's the nature of perspective - it's great to have it but it sucks to gain it.

Youth gone wild...

A couple of weeks ago, when my doc first mentioned arthritis in this troublesome ankle, I thought "dude, I am way too young to have arthritis!" Then I recalled the injury that likely led to my current debility - let's just say that I was in my early 20's, it was 3 or 4 in the AM, and I might have had an alcoholic beverage or two. Hopping on the old wooden bannister and sliding from second to first floor - side saddle style - seemed like a fun idea at the time. Being airborne for half the length of the staircase was fun too, until landing. The sprain was severe enough to cast and I was on crutches for 3 weeks. The funny part is, even though that ankle has bothered me at various times over the years - mostly going down stairs or in the AM when I get up (but infrequently) - I never made the connection between that long-ago injury and my current problems until the doc said "arthritis." The I was thinking: this totally makes sense, and now that I know, I can find a way to deal with it!! Anyway, the folly of youth comes back to bite me in the butt, yet again ;D

2004-06-08T23:57:00.000-04:00

Not gone from the face of the earth...just in Ohio..

Off for a family reunion and back later next week. My good thoughts will be with everyone running, training, and racing this week!!

2004-06-04T23:02:00.000-04:00

I know this is running blog and not 'Dear Diary' but...

This week was incredibly soul sucking. A co-worker of mine died suddenly and I am reeling. I am a hospice nurse, and I spend my days with death and dying, and I am reminded always that each next moment cannot be predicted, and that it is only a single moment in which everything can change, and all those other poetic things about the nature of life and death and impermanence, but I am so blown away right now that there's really nothing existential to contemplate but overwhelming sadness.

Latest breaking ankle news (no pun intended)...

Ankle x-ray was negative for (evident) fracture but did show arthritis. Frankly, that doesn't surprise me as I sprained it badly years ago and there were times, later, when I was doing martial arts that there was weakness there. I don't, however, think that arthritis is the source of the problem as I am still feeling no improvement with the pain. I have been taking ibuprofen 3xday for possible inflammation and that blunts the pain but does not resolve it. I am seeing the doc (not the nurse practitioner this time) on Monday and intend to ask for a bone scan and sports med referral. Even if it is "only" arthritis, I want to find out how to run safely on it again.

Still a runner in my fantastical brain...

Reading running books, running mags, running blogs, thinking about running, talking about running (in spite of the fact that the response I get is "look where running got you"). Despite the fact that I continue to not be able to run, as time goes on, I feel more and more relaxed - accepting that I can't do it now but feeling more sure that I will again! Meanwhile I guess I ought to drag-ass that old bike out of the basement and stop sitting around waiting!

2004-06-01T22:00:00.000-04:00

Waiting...

Had the ankle x-rayed this afternoon but probably won't hear anything till well into tomorrow as my doc is swamped with the short week. Saw the NP and she really couldn't suggest a problem just by eyeballing the ankle. She gave me a script for naprosyn but I will likely not fill it. While I recognize that the anti-inflammatory effects could help with healing, I also know myself WAY too well and I know that despite my logical mind knowing full well better, if the pain is relieved artificially and the ankle is feeling better - I'll be out running on it. Stupid, maybe (or definitely), but the benefit of my pain is that it places limits on me that I don't have the god-given sense to place on myself.

2004-05-31T21:56:00.000-04:00

Well, dammit...

Been resting resting resting since the right ankle pain appeared last Wednesday. Over the last few days it has been feeling better but never pain-free when weight bearing. Today there was still some stiffness and soreness, but I really wanted to get moving, and to test the waters gently, so I decided on a nice, easy walk on the trail.

The first quarter mile was great and I fancied that my ankle felt better than ever, I was tempted to break into an easy jog but I resisted. By the 1/2 mile I was starting to feel the ankle again but no worse than usual, so on I went. By 3/4 mile I had to shitcan it and head back out (which, like the previous gimp out on Wednesday, was a sad and miserable journey).

There is still localized pain just above the outer ankle bone, and now some pain in my arch when I push off, plus a couple of shooting pains up my calf for good measure. Maybe I'm being impatient expecting whatever it is to resolve completely in just 5 days, but I'd hoped there'd be enough improvement to at least tolerate some walking - I am hating being static. I'm thinking on calling the doc, though I suspect I am overreacting as usual. However, I'm leaving for Ohio for several days on 6/9 so if something does need to be addressed I suppose sooner is better than later.

Someday...

..I hope to view this as a good learning experience - right now it kind of feels like crap. Someday, I will have run scores of 5K's but right now, the one I'm not going to run feels like the only one. Someday, I'll view this as a part of the journey and not the last stop.

Am I just a big drama queen?...

For being so new to running, I am surprised at just how damn dismayed I am to not be running. This really sucks and I'm trying hard to not be all angst-ridden and shit, but it just makes me sad, and restless to get going again. Patience.

Thanks...

..and thanks and thanks to all for the great encouragement, and advice, and support, and concern I find here - it's made every step more manageable. And despite all appearances that I am becoming the world's biggest sad sack, reading about people's thoughts, runs, races, good days, bad days, and everything else, keeps me optimistic.

2004-05-27T21:44:00.000-04:00

Could I BE any more discouraged??...

I seem to have hurt myself. How?? I thought I was doing everything right. Warm up - stretch - run (certainly not over-training for godsake) - stetch some more - cool down. I kept reading that beginners sustain injuries because they overdo, or they don't stretch, or warm up, or make animal sacrifices, or whatever. I did it all by the book but I am having pain enough to have a walking limp, say nothing of running. WTF!!

My sad story...

So yesterday was Day 1 back from vacation and I had the day off so I could do unpacking, laundry, etc. The weather started out crappy and I kept putting off a run, waiting for it to get better - and it did! By 5PM it was nicely cool with sunshine peeking out so I headed for my trail. It was close by and I figured that after running up some hills the past couple of times I could really boogey on the flat trail. I did the usual, started out with an easy 6-minute warm-up, then stopped to stretch. I don't feel I stretched too far or too hard and felt fine when I finished with it, but when I started running I began to immediately have pain to my right outer, lateral malleolus area. Specifically, a very localized area extending about 2 inches up from the anklebone, and also behind it. It felt like a cramp and it wasn't severe so I kept on going easily but after about 1/2 mile it wasn't resolving so I stopped to stretch it a little. Somehow that made it worse because when I started off again I was favoring it too much to be safely ignored. The really shitty part was that I was more than a mile into the trail so I had to gimp it back out - feeling just incredibly defeated the whole while. The thing is, I didn't twist it or pop it or traumatize it in any way. It must have been something I did when I was stretching, though there was nothing extreme or unusual about my stretches.

When I got home I iced it for awhile and there was no visible inflammation. This AM it was still painful enough to cause a limp while walking and also the area was tender to touch. The pain vacillates from an ache to a burning sensation. This afternoon there was some minor swelling around the anklebone so I took an NSAID, which has made it feel much better – but I’m reluctant to mask the pain and unwittingly do more than I should. I did get an ACE compression wrap and that feels really good and helps me to not limp and alter my gait. I’ll see what tomorrow brings sans NSAID and take it from there but for right at this moment I am frustrated and disappointed and depressed. I am 8 days away from a 5K that I certainly needed more training for at this time, and now I’m losing days. I move back and forth between the idea of taking my time, shit-canning this 5K if I have to, and allowing proper time to heal whatever the hell I’ve done – or, on the other side, wrapping it, taking some Motrin, and at least putting the time and distance in – even if it’s slow and easy. I don’t know quite what to do. I don’t want to injure myself further, but I don’t want to have to stop for a period of time and lose what little ground I’ve gained (or crap out on all my 5K goals this summer). I feel stupid for having some kind of painful injury with the goddamn little that I do, and spending so much energy trying to do it “right.” Ok ok, I have been fighting this self-flagellation all day – just needed to let a little out here, then putting it in a box.

Should the world fail to fall apart…

All right, self-pity party’s over for the moment. I will re-evaluate tomorrow, or the next day, or whenever the pain subsides, and hope for the best. The reality is that I am willing to forego this upcoming 5K if that’s what it takes to heal up, as I am really really looking forward to the Bluegrass Ramble 5K at the end of June – so it’s worth it to me to not exacerbate a problem. However, if I am feeling improvement over the next day or so, I really want to get back out and do something, anything to keep moving forward. If I have to run/walk next weekend’s 5K at least I will have started, finished, and given myself something to move ahead with.

I guess I’m not surprised…

Running is not linear, nearly nothing in life is. I know this all ready, yet I keep waiting to “get on track” and follow a nice smooth progression from Point A to Point Infinity. When has that ever happened? When has life ever been anything but up/down, back/forward, in/out, over/under? That’s how ya do it – and really that’s the amazing part of it all (when we can appreciate it – and c’mon, it’s hard to appreciate the crappy stuff!). So I am going to place this experience in the “Oh, so things didn’t go exactly according to plan?” file – if there’s room – and go from there.

2004-05-25T17:51:00.000-04:00

Lara's 5K Training Plan (synopsis)...

You too can be ill-prepared for your very first 5K by following these simple steps:

1) Take a trip, be sure to use all facets of the trip as an excuse not to run
2) Try to make sure your diet consists primarily of pizza, beer, pancakes, and Hooter's chicken wings
3) Find the time to run slightly more than 1 mile, once in 4 days. Promptly head back to the motel for some quality time with professional wrestling and monster trucks on Spike TV**.

There's always tomorrow (so far I've been right about this)...

The reality kind of is that the opportunities were not much there for running. Lot's of family stuff and schedules to keep. My sis-in-law, whom I was so hoping to run with has not been running recently so did not bring sneakers along.

Here's where I give a huge shout-out to Dianna because had she not given me the tip to find Silver Sands beach, I would not have even done the little running I did. The strip where our motel was located was one of those long, 4-lane, center of commerce areas off the interstate - nice when you're looking for the nearest Barnes & Noble so you can buy a book about running (which I did), but not so cool for actual running. Turned out that the Silver Sands state park, complete with a boardwalk, was only about 5 miles from the motel!!

Only one run to remember the details about...

The whole beach thing was very cool because it was very hot and humid in town, and of course nicely cool and breezy at the beach (this being a piece of the shore of the Long Island Sound, if I'm not mistaken). I started out on a dirt path that was really just a small shortcut to an access road. There were other runners, walkers, bikers, and kids coming and going - so while it wasn't a crowded area, there was enough traffic to feel safe. As always, the 5 or so minutes that I jog to warm up feels awful and I am consumed with thoughts of "why the hell am I doing this!" It's interesting that, as tired as I get later in a run, warm up is the only time that hateful thoughts about running creep into my head, at other times it's about meeting a goal but warm up I find to be most miserable. Anyway, after stretching and starting off again, the access road ended in a neighborhood with sidewalks so I was able to spend some time running there and ran up my biggest hill yet before turning around and heading back towards the beach. In the end, I only ran 1.07 miles which I wished had been more. I was tired enough when I stopped - the deciding factor was the thunder & lightning - but in a close second was the side stitch that started almost immediately and hung on for the whole time (not severe enough to stop but annoying enough to distract). The happy news is that the entire distance (including post-hill) was a run. Yep, it's me, so it was a sloooooow run, but it was running and not walking - no walk breaks I'm tellin' ya!! When I left the beach, I was psyched to return there - planning when and how - but the stars were not in my favor. Though, if I'm being honest with myself, I could have made it happen a couple times and didn't because it seemed like such an effort. I think that's where I'm still growing - I mean, clearly I'm trying to grow in the ability/distance/endurance department - but where I'm still working is in making running a part of my life . I have the desire to do it, and when I don't run I think about running, and I think about getting better at running. I know that there are times when external circumstances will intrude, and times when internal circumstances will intrude - and there have been times when I did not "feel like" running and made myself - and also times when I could have overcome that and choose not to. So what - so really, as much as my goal right now may be to improve the distance I can run, the goal is also to integrate it into my life in a more profound way. When I make it happen, I am always so glad I did, when I ignore it and crap out on making the effort to just get started I am always sorry.

What's the goal (right now)...

I have my first 5K in 11 days.
My goal - To finish
My hope - To run it all (regardless of how long it takes me)
My focus - To begin to really integrate running into my life over the next 11 days (and certainly beyond). Not frantic "must run this much, must run that many times" mentality (as my general personality would insist on). Rather, "I am training for a run, but moreso, running is a part of my life and that is why I choose to do it!"

** For those not aware, Spike TV is a cable channel, self-proclaimed the first network for men . This weekend was Motor Mayhem and consisted of non-stop shows on car customizing, truck restoration, and racing - interspersed with a little Star Trek, Baywatch, and wrestling. My husband and son were mesmerized!!

2004-05-21T23:56:00.000-04:00

Off like a prom dress...

Tomorrow AM we leave for CT for my brother-in-law's graduation from Yale! Nice to get away but perhaps a little out of my element as I am the total country cousin :)

Dianna has very kindly given me some guidance as to good places to run while in CT and I am wildly grateful as I have not run since Tuesday and I want no excuse that allows me to continue that trend. Mostly the lag has been due to work demands, plans and preparations, and my 18 y/o cat deciding to have health problems the day before we leave - but the reality is that I am registered for my very first 5K on June 5th and the clock is ticking. I'm really looking forward to running in some completely new and "exotic" place. Since my sister-in-law used to , and may still, run, it is possible that I will be running with my first partner ever, even if only temporarily.

2004-05-18T19:33:00.000-04:00

Why can't I just be happy...

I don't know if it's me and my all-or-nothing nature, or if it's the nature of running (or really any athletic pursuit), but even as I know I am progressing I get caught up in an it's still not good enough mentality that detracts from what I'm accomplishing, in my mind.

Yesterday's and today's runs were good in that I got out on the pavement, I ran up hills, and I ran most the while with only 2 30-second walk breaks in the course of 25-30 minute runs. I mean, c'mon! Last week I was fighting through 7 minutes of running and taking 1 minute walk breaks religiously, this week I am running from 8 to 13 minutes with 30 second breaks when I feel I HAVE to, plus some little hills (which I will say some good things about in a minute). So that's progress right?? Instead of being even slightly self-congratulatory I am dwelling on the fact that it is now, on average, taking me about 2 minutes longer to run a mile than it was when I ran and walked a mile. WTF??? I know, I really know, that I should not be concentrating on my pace right now - I want to be able to run for increasing periods of time, I want to run a 5K and finish it without walk breaks (no matter how long it takes). So those are maybe reasonable goals and I'm mucking it all up because now I'm feeling embarrassed that I can walk a mile (and I'm not talking racewalk) faster than I can run it. *sigh* I am my own worst enemy.

Ok, self-pity party's over...

Despite the lament, I am working hard at keeping it all in perspective and I am determined not to sabotage myself. I can clearly see my progression over the past weeks so I can only assume I will continue to do so.

Why I think I love hills...

The past 2 days it's worked like this -
* Warm up: Running for 5 or so minutes - it's a struggle, kind of sucks. Then I do stretches and catch my breath.
* 1st several minutes running: Easy at first, following the stretch break - then gets unpleasant. Eventually take a walk break for 30 secs.
* 2nd several minutes running: I try to run up a hill near the beginning of this interval, not a big hill (though today's was steeper than yesterday's) and then continue running on level. Again, eventually take another 30 second walk break.
* 3rd several minutes running: Here's where I am able to start extending my running time and skipping the walk break. It seems like the hill is what kicks me into gear even though when I was running up it, I thought it would be the death of me. So up until yesterday I was a total flatlander and today I keep thinking about hills. I'm feeling friendly towards them (so far).

Future plans...

I went to an expo put on by a local running club and found out they do developmental runs on Wednesday evenings and that there are usually 100 or so runners of every ability so, per the guy I spoke with, there's bound to be someone I can kind of hook up with to run (ever so slowly). I'm feeling the strain of running alone, it can be peaceful and cathartic but for me, right now it's mostly lonely. Richard recently made a comment that running alone could at times be "disheartening" and I am finding it to be so. Upon my return from Connecticut next week, I am going to check it out.

I registered for what will be my first 5K on June 5th so nothing left to do now but keep running.

2004-05-16T22:00:00.000-04:00

Hooray! I ran up a hill...

First of all, at the risk of sounding repetitive, I did not wanna run today! I didn't run yesterday and that was fine, but first thing this morning as I was slouching on the couch drinking my coffee, I started thinking up reasons why I wasn't going to run today:
- It's cold and it might rain
- I have too much to do today/I won't have time
- My stomach hurts
- I am so bored of that damn trail
- I'll run tomorrow, I promise

As the day wore on and I got through my various chores, I started giving myself pep talks - and since the sun was now out, my stomach felt fine, and I was pretty much done with my To Do list, all that was left was a sudden, huge aversion to the trail. So I just headed out my front door.

I live on a rural road with not a lot of traffic, but the cars that come through take the liberty of driving 60-70 mph since there’s not much to look out for (well, dogs and deer and turkey and the occasional child on bike, but whatever). Also, the road has a pretty significant crown, which is very noticeable and very uncomfortable. For these reasons I don’t think much about running on my own road but today it was that or forget it. Starting right out, there are 2 small inclines (bumps in the road for most people but tough for me) so my warm up felt very strenuous. After about 5 minutes I looked for a place to stretch and there really wasn’t a good spot as the culverts and fields have not been mowed yet and are very overgrown. I tried stretching my calves against a Stop sign but nearly tipped it over, so I just took off at that point.

I’ve been thinking a lot about my running/walking intervals and how I have been so focused on increasing my running time but doing nothing about decreasing my walking time, so today I thought I would try doing the 7 minute runs with a 30 second walk break rather than a full minute. Ya know, that worked out really good for me! The first 7 minutes was kind of hard even though it was mostly a gradual downhill and, of course, the 30 seconds didn’t feel like nearly enough but I started off again when my alarm went off. Only this time I was going back up that “gradual downhill.” It’s an easy going slope of about 1/4 - 1/3 mile, and the steepest piece being towards the top. There was a point when my mind started thinking “I can’t breath” and started to panic a little but I kept trudging along and trying to measure and control my breathing and then it was flat and I’d done it. I know I’m making it sound like I climbed Mt. Marcy but with all my time spent on a flat trail, this was a big (and necessary) difference. So here’s the really cool part – I finished out that 7 minutes, did my 30 second rest, then started off on my 3rd rep – and it felt great! I ran the 7, ran through the 30 second rest, and then ran another 5 minutes before I came upon my driveway. I felt I could have done a little more but I hadn’t stretched and I was on pavement for the first time – I was not hurting at all and I wanted to keep it that way. Boy, it felt great – it felt like there actually will come a time when I will be able to shitcan these walking periods altogether! I took a looooooong time for stretching afterwards and I can’t say I’m aching at all so even though I did less distance, maybe I did the right amount for what I did.

Encouraged...

An acquaintance of mine has been talking in my ear that I could do a 5K sooner than my planned June 26th Ramble . There is a local one that supports a tiny little art center near where I work that is on June 5th and I’m wondering if I will be ready for it. I’m not worried about how much time it takes me but I really want to be able to finish it all running, no walk breaks. Is 3 weeks enough? Dunno, but I think I’m gonna register anyway and try to make it so.

2004-05-14T20:02:00.000-04:00

Tired...

I did not wanna run today. It's Friday, it's the end of a long week, it's mid to high 80's and humid with threats of thunderstorms anytime, and I'm still stuck with the creepy crawly shorts till I can do some more shopping this weekend. I did not wanna run.

But I did, and it turned out ok. I really did have to work, mostly because of the humidity, but it occured to me that I am tolerating it a little better so I must be getting accustomed. My orginal plan was to run my 7:1 running/walking intervals x 4 reps today and x 6 tomorrow but I knew immediately that I was going to take a rest day tomorrow with no running and none of the strength work I do on the other days. That having been decided, I made myself do 5 reps, under protest, but I'm glad I did. I'll rest tomorrow (and go to a running expo that the local running club is putting on at Barnes & Noble), and then run the 6 reps on Sunday (when it is also supposed to be cooler and less humid). So I did it - I don't have my usual post-run energy, in fact I'm damn tired, and I feel a little queesy in the stomach but I'm glad I followed through anyway. And I'm pretty sure that I will feel fresh exhilaration on Sunday.

Motivation...

Dianna did some great reminiscing about her first race and it was the perfect thing at the right time for me, as I sit here at the computer feeling kind of spent. I am sending off my pre-registrations for a few different 5K's I've got my eye on this summer, including the Bluegrass Ramble 5K which I'm getting totally psyched about because my husband, son, sister and her husband and kids will all be coming along for a weekend of camping and hanging out! Anyway, Dianna's post about Race Day Magic gave me a shot in the arm and I'm sure that enthusiasm is going to make it a great race day for her tomorrow!

2004-05-12T21:55:00.000-04:00

The thighs that ate Nike...

Ok, for 30 bucks a pair of shorts ought to come with some garters that strap around just below your knees to pull the inseam out of you crotch. It ain't gonna look any worse than your shorts being devoured between your legs, is it?? Technical my ass.

Truth is, wearing my new running shorts and tank top was pretty unnerving as I have not worn shorts that didn’t extend to just above the knee in a long while. I also am, um…a little busty so I had a whole kind of Marilyn Monroe (sans blond hair) in Lycra thing going on. I felt pretty naked and self-conscious and when the shorts started crawling I was totally bumming. I only passed a few people along the way and I forced myself to just run and not start fiddling with my clothes as they approached. On the positive – it was hot and humid today and I was definitely glad to not be encumbered by too many clothes, and I was also glad to not have saturated cotton clothing like last time, I think it absolutely helped me tolerate the run much better. The other good news is that concentrating all your efforts on being obsessed about how you look makes the run go by.

Oh yeah, the run…

Now that I’ve whined about my clothes, I have to say I can make no complaints about the run. Again with the 7:1 running/walking and 5 reps this time. It was work, no question, but not that feeling of just trying to stay upright. I’d even say I hit a stride a couple of times. It’s true that fuming about those damn shorts fueled me a couple of times and the time passed more quickly, but when it was all said and done I knew that I had done more and worked less at it then the last time so I guess that’s progress. By Saturday I would like to run those 7:1’s x 6 and then move to 9:1’s. I don’t really have any aches or pains during or after running (other than some hip stiffness, which is not new), so improving my cardiovascular tolerance seems to be the big thing. It feels like it’s happening so slowly – when I think about running something like 30 minutes at a time it seems impossible but I started this all by walking and then running for 15 steps every 1 minute so I guess I’m moving along bit by bit.

Here's something neat...

I was originally thinking of my first race to be a 5 miler nearby in the Utica area, however I was nosing around other running club calendars and found a 5K taking place up north that is in the midst of a bluegrass festival and am presently in the process of coercing the old man to come on up with me - though he's no fan of bluegrass. I just think that a ride up north on the bike and a weekend of camping is about the best way to celebrate a first run!! It's not until June 26th so I'd really like to be running that distance - all running - by then.

Need a new place to run...

I have been thinking that the trail that I run on is nothing but flat and that I really should be opening myself up to some hill-ish areas so that I don't fall flat on the first incline I meet. A big decider in contemplating moving on from my pretty little trail is nature - the buggies, the bees, the chipmunks that won't get out of the way and I actually have to swerve to avoid, and finally the foul smell of swamp as the trail of water that used to be part of the Erie canal stagnates and festers and smells pretty damn creepy. I'll have to look around - running on my own road is not an option as the shoulders have extreme inclines and I nearly have to run on the center line to be level. I'm sure I'll soon be lamenting how pavement or hills feel, but I guess that's progress too.

2004-05-10T22:12:00.000-04:00

It's a good hurt...

First of all, weather-wise was not my bag today. High 70's and very humid - humidity being something I find intolerable while sitting on the porch. I know I need to not be whining about this because the weather will most surely become consistently more hot and humid as time goes on, so I'm hoping there will be some level of adjustment to it.

Today I increased from 5 min:1 min running/walking intervals to 7:1. It was hard. I didn't look at my watch while I was running but my body knew when 5 minutes was up and I was really working for that endless extra 2 minutes. I had been doing 6 reps of the 5:1 and only did 4 of the 7:1 which was a little disappointing but I knew that I had done all I could do and I was glad to have been able to do it at all with the humidity.

I have a positive attitude, dammit...

I can't complain - I increased my running time, which consequently improved my overall pace even though I had to run very slowly at the end, I tolerated the heat in the end and am thinking forward to becoming somewhat accustomed to it as time passes, and I realized that a couple of really good runs can mentally carry me through runs that are not so really good. Thanks to Dianna and Richard for the recent encouragement. I had no idea that running could be such a cool paradox! (I'm sure there'll be days when I will need to look back on these Pollyana posts).

Shopping List...

Shorts, definately some running shorts. My black capri sweat pants and cotton tee made me very damply unhappy. I am short and (wicking fabric) tank top shopping tomorrow. Now, knowing central New York, I could be running in 40 degree weather 2 days from now but I've got plenty of clothes for that.

2004-05-09T08:40:00.000-04:00

This post actually refers to Saturday's run but I started blogging it and didn't have time to finish yesterday.

Hey, this is fun...

Ok, another good run for me today! First of all - I wish it could be spring forever because the low 50's, breezy, overcast with intermittent sun is my most favorite favorite weather for running! And that's how it was today.

I mentioned last time that I started out with a 5 minute run rather than a 5 minute brisk walk before stretching because I didn't think I was getting warmed up enough. See, in my usual 'finding my way as I go' routine, I thought that I should absolutely not run a single step until I had stretched, but I knew I shouldn't stretch cold. Well let me tell ya, this 5 minutes of running right off the bat feels like it's made all the difference in the world. I just feel stronger when I start off on my actual run/walk reps and my endurance has been greater! Now it's only been twice that I've done this but my response was immediate. The other thing - and this is one of the silly mind games that I play with myself but that seems to be effective - is that I take longer with my stretches after that initial 5 minute run - which I expect can only be good. Prior, I rabbit-ed through my stretching because I was so eager to get running , but now I'm more willing to take the time and prolong my stretches and stretching repetitions.

It's not the first time I've been called "loose"...

It's not that I'm not putting effort into my running, but it's taking a little less effort. Here's the thing - I went to the Black Belt graduation demonstration last night at my (former) martial arts school. I was watching the sparring and, not for the first time, noticing that the best fighters were the ones who were relaxed, free, almost casual in appearance - but then they'd throw a punch, or kick, or block and they were fast and fluid. My downfall in sparring was that I was always wound up in a tight little ball and it took too much time and effort to get out of it to be effective. So I made a conscious effort to loosen up today while running - unclenched my fists, let my neck relax a little so my chin wasn't sticking out ahead of me, and let my shoulders swing a little more. I had no idea how letting my shoulders go would increase my momentum and rhythm! I'm trying to make sure I don't end up sashaying down the trail with shoulders and hips flopping side to side but I sure do feel a little freer!

Freud would have a field day...

One of my goals for running right now does not have only to do with fitness or endurance but with psychological growth - that being the curse of perfectionism. The reality of my perfectionism is not that I work myself into the ground to attain unrealistic self-expectations, but that I quit most endeavors well prior to completion because my expectations are not only unrealistic but that I constantly compare myself to others, and when I fall short I crap out because it's way safer than my constant perception of failure.

This is probably why I like to run alone and why I am wildly self-conscious when I meet other runners along the trail. Today, the running super-couple passed me (twice): he with large, hard grapefruits where his calf muscles should have been and she with a beautiful, smooth stride and chit-chatting all along the way, seemingly with no effort at all. I have to – and have been – reminding myself that they may have been like me sometime in the past, and I may be like them someday in the future. I’m not going to run a marathon tomorrow but that doesn’t mean that I can’t be, or in fact am not at this moment, a runner.

Better – Faster – Stronger…

On Thursday’s run (which was my first run that felt awesome to me) I went 2.62 miles in 42 minutes. That being in 5 minute:1 minute running/walking intervals.

Today I went 2.79 miles in 42 minutes - same intervals. I picked up the pace a very little but felt even stronger during it! I know for most people this sounds incredibly slow but this week has felt great to me - I am definitely encouraged. Next week I plan to increase to 7:1 intervals. At the end of June there is 5 mile fun run that suddenly is looking like it might be do-able!!

2004-05-06T23:12:00.000-04:00

Today I felt like a runner for the very first time...

Evidently, today those running gods - or goddesses - were smiling on me because it was my "oh, I get it now!" moment. How totally freakin' cool!!!

To begin with, I was laboring under tremendous worry and guilt because I hadn't run, or done any exercise, since Saturday. A couple days of severe thunderstorm weather and a couple days of work/social obligations bogged me down and I was feeling very concerned that what little ground I'd gained in terms of running would be diminished. Also, after being a slacker for the last few days, and despite my guilt, I had a hard time motivating myself today - but I dragged butt out to the trail and the adventure began...

The weather was so how I love it - high 50's to low 60's and cloudy with a little sun coming through now and again. Now, usually I have started out with a brisk walk for 5 minutes, then stretching, then begin the 4 min:1 min running/walking sequence. But I was thinking the last few times that I just didn't feel warmed up from the walking and then my first few (or more) run/walk reps were a struggle. Today I started right out running for 5 minutes, then stopped and did stretches, then launched into 5 min:1 min run/walk x 6. I don't know if it was that, or all the rest days, or just a smiling universe but I just felt in synch. It wasn't that I didn't get tired, or breath hard, or have to push myself a few times - but I didn't have to struggle and that is something new. There were a couple of times that I was really aware of my body and that my arms seemed to be moving fluidly, and my head was positioned just so my neck didn't feel strained, and my breathing was hard but not labored or gasping - and that was all happening on its own, like I played no conscious part in it and it was the most natural thing in the world. I just thought - God, I'm really running! And I like it!! Now, my next run(s) may or may not be so lovely and I'm cool with that. Each time can't be wine and roses, I know, but I'm hoping I've crossed a threshold at which I have a better sense of why I'm doing what I'm doing, a better sense of what I can be, and something to recall until the next time. And maybe a reason why I can begin to say things like "I run" or "I'm a runner" (even if only to myself) and believe it.

New Toys...

Timex Ironman watch - I got the low end one but it's got features for laps and splits and intervals and the like. I used it for the first time today and set it for my 5:1 run/walk intervals. Not feeling compelled to glance at my watch was psychologically amazing! All I had to do was run - not think or worry or wish about the time. I just concentrated on the running until the lovely musical chime told me otherwise.

Pedometer - This is cool because the trail I run on is very poorly marked for mileage. My interest in my distance is minimal right now but it is nice to have a sense of how far my efforts have taken me by that measurement. I had clocked part of the trail in my car for as long as it runs along the road and from my estimation, the distance logged by the pedometer is fairly accurate.

In conclusion...

Hooray!! What an awesome day!

2004-05-01T19:37:00.000-04:00

Counting to Mississippi...

Well, I spent Friday evening couch potatoe-ing rather than running of working out so today I was determined to get back at it. Thunderstorms were in the forecast but by the time I got home from a funeral at about 2:00 it was still sunny and nicely warm (low 80's but a wonderful intermittent breeze). I decided to visit the other end of the 6 mile stretch of canalway for a change of scenery and found it to be more secluded (farther from the main road) but more populated by runners, walkers, bikers, and horse riders (which seems nice until you have to do hurdles over big piles of poop on the trail).

I got out of the car and headed for the trail, then checked my watch - the one home on my dresser. So I punted - I did my 4:1's by counting the seconds m-i-s-s-i-s-s-i-p-p-i style. Counting to 240 that way is a real drag and by the 6th rep I couldn't even say the word mississippi in my mind - like the tongue in my brain was swollen and couldn't spit the word out. On the plus side, I think I ran a little longer (and I'm talkin' little ) because when I came home and timed my counting speed, my one minute of mississippi's was 1:10 on my watch. Not huge, but something. Also, my walking time was longer than a minute because I didn't count it - I just allowed myself to feel like running again. If I had to guess: a minute and a half to two minutes.

How does that feel...

I felt like I was working hard in the heat again but the breeze helped, passing and saying hello to other people helped, and I had a water bottle belt so I could take a swig while walking. I was able to feel like I did what I have been doing prior to the last discouraging run even though I know I took more "recovery" time with the walking. I did have a left sided stitch during my 5th & 6th reps but it was mild and not enough to stop me. So I have no complaints. I probably should remember to have a run without a watch now and then (and maybe forget the counting too) - I'll call it my Dad Run, his philosophy being "I'll get there when I get there."

Can't outrun the sun - or the black flies...

Anyone who lives in a part of the country where spring means black flies will know what I mean when I say they're here. I didn't think about them till they thought about me but that's how it always is. I didn't think of the sun because I was in a very tree shaded path. It wasn't until I got home and my husband looked at me and cringed, that I became aware of my newly christened redneck. If I hear "that's gonna hurt" one more time...

2004-04-29T19:25:00.000-04:00

Lament (or perhaps, whine)...

Today was tough physically and mentally, and that surprised me so I am left feeling a bit deflated. I suspect that when I shake it all down the culprit will be my own poor planning.

First of all, the weather could not have been more ideal if I had ordered it up specially for me. It was sunny, mid-80's, slight breeze, not humid (which it tends to get around here, and which I have a hard time tolerating). *side note: this beautiful, and unusual, weather following an impressive hail storm this AM.* Anyway, all afternoon I was thinking about how great it was gonna be to get out on the trail and even put aside some paperwork unfinished so I could leave work a few minutes early. Once I got out there I did my usual walk for 5 or 6 minutes then stretch. Almost as soon as I started jogging I just felt so tired and I began breathing hard after not too long at all. I really struggled through my first 3 reps, just waiting for me to really get warm, or hit my stride, or scrape up some endorphins, or somethin'. Following the 3rd run/walk rep I had to walk for 2 minutes rather than 1 before I could run again, and had to do that again after #'s 4 & 5 too. On my 6th rep of running I only lasted 2 minutes, then had to walk the rest of the way out, and it took me quite awhile, a bottle of water, and orange, and a tootsie pop to feel anything more than overall crappy. The whole time I kept thinking, "hey! I'm supposed to be getting stronger with time and practice, not weaker!!" Thankfully, what I do not suffer from are any aches or pains, which surprises me as my hips were always old and crabby before I started running, but not since.

What went wrong...

Ok, in truth, as disappointed as I feel, my common sense tells me that I am not getting weaker and I am not a big wuss. In really trying to analyze what went off track today, here are my thoughts on some of the possibilities:

1. The weather - as beautiful as it was, it was a good 30+ degrees warmer than what I'm used to running in. Even though I was not overdressed, I was hotter alot faster (though it took me awhile to really start sweating, as much as I was struggling), and I was also dry alot faster - which leads me to...

2. Hydration - I didn't think of it till after but I did not drink as much water during the day today as I usually do because I had a soda at lunch. I make sure to drink before and after the run but up to this point I have never really had the need to carry water with me - today I really really needed it and it was so miserable that I will not make that mistake again. My saliva was so thick it was gagging.

3. Pre-Run Snack - I usually have a piece of fruit or a granola/energy/Special K bar shortly before the run and today I had a salad at lunch then a cup of popcorn about 1/2 hour before going out. I only ate the popcorn because someone handed it to me, but it was enough to make me forget about the granola bar, though not enough to give me energy to sustain the running.

4. Need a Rest Day - I have either run or worked out at Curves every day since Sunday. For many this probably isn't a big effort but for me this is only the 2nd week that I have made a sustained effort at routine exercise, rather than sporadic episodes. It certainly feel like I should take a rest day sooner than Sunday, as I had planned. I will probably go to Curves tomorrow as usual as I will not have an opportunity on Saturday if I take tomorrow off, but I think I will wait for Sunday to run again. I also think I will spend Sunday continuing the 4:1 running/walking as based on today, jumping to 5:1 might be a little premature. I'll reevaluate then.

To Make a Long Story Longer...

Analysis complete - I am going to work hard to not let this be a discouraging experience, but an educational one. I am not going to blame my body and just accept that some days are not going to be prizewinners. I am not going to expect more than is reasonable and then quit in disappointment. I am going to crack open a cold Bud Light!

Ending On An Up Note...

You will do foolish things, but do them with enthusiasm. ~ Collette

2004-04-28T21:48:00.000-04:00

Setting of the goals...

I notice that alot of people are publicizing their running/race goals and I read time and again that this is a great technique for any goal - dieting, quitting smoking, etc. because you make yourself accountable to someone other than yourself and you garner added support systems. In the past, I have staunchly avoided this tactic so that when my little schemes fall apart my crap-out is a private misery rather than a public humiliation <--- "and how's that been working for you?" the Dr. Phil in my head asks.

So at the risk of being a big ol' copycat here is a tentative goal list - and yes, "tentative goal" is somewhat oxymoronic but it's only tentative in the sense that I believe there are several other 5K's in my area throughout the summer that I just haven't found the info on - what I have is info from one running club only, so it's probably better to say my preliminary goals.

June 27 Summer Sizzle 5m (?? - can I get to 5 miles in 8 weeks time - dunno, since I've never done this before - but heck, I'm gonna put it down!)
July 11 Boilermaker 5k Training Run
July 18 Millers Mills Sundae Run 5k
Aug 21 Canalway Run 5k
Sept 26 Falling Leaves Race 5k
Oct 2 Camden Copper Wire Run 5k

So there's that - is it apparent that that I'm really anxious to get out there and go? Now all I have to do is be able to run :-)

2004-04-27T20:19:00.000-04:00

Mother Natures smiles...

Hooray, no snow!! As a matter of fact, it was pouring when I took the guinea pig to the vet but the sun was shining when I got back home so I scooted out to the trail before the weather changed its mind. It was cool (high 40's maybe) with a moderate wind but with the sun shining I warmed up in no time.

I continued with the 4 min:1 min running and walking and went about the same distance as on Sunday. Speaking of which, I had thought that the distance was about 4 miles (2 out & 2 back) but it turns out it's 1.5 out/back. So even though it feels like I'm running 10 miles *sigh* I'm actually running 3. That's ok, it's a little to early for me to get caught up in speed and distance when I'm still working on not hacking up my spleen. Ok, it's not that bad but I did feel like I worked harder, or maybe I should say I wore out sooner today, even though it was the same distance, time, and weather conditions. I didn't take that extra minute of walking 1/2 way through like I did last time and my the 6th running rep I was alot more breathless and just didn't feel like I was finishing strong. Once I stretched and began walking the rest of the way out I recovered pretty quickly though. Overall, this time out seemed too take more effort but I was still able to do it and keep my same pace so I can't be disappointed.

What I think about...

All I do is count my steps in different sequences (8's or 15's usually). I try thinking motivational thoughts or concentrating on my form, or singing a song in my head but I always come back to counting. It's not very exciting but it's kind of meditative I guess. I have been toying with getting an mp3 player but I read where some people discourage relying on music for your pace or motivation or distraction or whatever. I also am not sure I want to cover my ears as the trail I run on is wooded and often I am alone. I carry an attack cat (a small hard plastic weapon that fits over your knuckles) and I am an orange belt in karate, which is not too far advanced but enough to know a few defensive moves and hits, but if I'm not alert and aware of someone nearby those things would likely not help much. As I think more on it now I'm thinking the mp3 player is not such a good idea.

The view from here...

Ok, tomorrow is Curves and next run is on Thursday. I will stick to the 4:1 on that day and on Saturday and then try 5:1 x 6 reps next week. I am also awaiting delivery of a book called Run for Your Life: A Book for Beginning Women Runners which seemed to have positive reviews, particularly on the motivation piece.

2004-04-26T17:05:00.000-04:00

Can't Change the Weather...

Snow is forecast for tomorrow (though temps in the 70's forecast for Thursday - that's Central New York for you). I am psyching myself up now to suck it up and packing some warm clothes in my bag.

2004-04-25T19:06:00.000-04:00

In the beginning...

Being 36 years old and having lived a life of devout non-altheticism up to this point, I think I am as surprised as anyone that I have suddenly gotten a bug to run. My first foray into any kind of exercise at all was joining Curves about a year ago - I stuck with it for 6 months but then kind of crapped out. Since I've begun running (and at this point I use the word "running" loosely - more on that later) I decided it would be worthwhile to rejoin Curves as it is aerobic and strength training and will surely be a compliment to the running.
This past December I was walking on a treadmill and thought I would try a slow jog - to my amazement I did not tangle up my feet and get flung off, and I was able to tolerate almost a mile! I was up to 2 miles pretty quickly and was pretty excited - planning on running a 5K in February and thinking I was the wind --- until I tried to run outside! I had no idea just how much that treadmill motor helped me along because I didn't last a 1/2 mile running down my road. By the first (tiny) incline I was ready to fall over in the ditch. This was discouraging enough that I didn't run the 5K, and in fact didn't run again till recently.

Where I'm at...

Living in Central New York State, the weather is just starting to get decent (the last of my yard snow melted last weekend) and I just felt drawn to trying again. I have found some nice, groomed dirt and gravel trails that run along side the Erie Canal and have been slowly building up my time doing actual jogging.
So I will begin here, today, and take it from there. I have my eye on a few 5K's this summer and the Boilermaker 15K next summer (some people think I could do the 15K this summer if I worked at it but I do not want to screw this up). Onward....

Sunday April 25

It was pretty cool today (low 50's) and threatening rain so I didn't know if I'd be able to get out before the downpour (and forecasts of thunder & lightening) began. I layered up (a little too much it turned out - could've done without the fleece) and drove to the trail. This day begins my week of 4 minutes jogging/1 minute walking x 6 repititions. I walked briskly for about 5 minutes then did some stretches and began - I was tolerating 4 minutes running (slowly, I'll admit) and 1 minute was sufficient rest time, which I wasn't sure it would be as I have been doing about 50:50 prior to this. At the 4th rep I had to walk 2 minutes as I was pretty out of breath but that really helped because I felt much stronger for the last 2 reps. All in all, I felt like I did well with it and came away feeling invigorated, not tired. The air was cool and the breeze strong - which felt good. The rain held off for the most part - just some sprinkles here and there. The trail is not well marked for mileage but I think I went a little over 4 miles in about 50 minutes - though I am not really worried about distance at this point. I will be repeating this on Tuesday and Thursday with Curves workouts on Monday-Wednesday-Friday, then rest on Saturday. I feel good about what I did today. I have been doing so much walking vs. running that it felt like real progress today to cut back on the walking time. Also, my hips, which have always been a stiff, creaky part of my body, are not very sore at all this evening as I expected they would be *hooray!* Tuesday's supposed to be another cool, rainy day but I am totally looking forward to my next run.