I'm moving...

Figuratively and literally.

After a recent blogger lament, Mark so very kindly decorated a room for me at Complete Running . From now on, I will be blogging at Running in Place . Tune in there for more of my madcap adventures.

Yes, so I am walking - and it is good, it is so good, I can't tell you how good it is. I have been able to walk for 30-40 minutes at a time, mostly at a brisk pace (excluding some warm up and cool down time). I do some stretches after and my muscles are really tight and inflexible, but that will pass. The real news is that the pain is so not an issue - there is a vague soreness in my ankle at first, and really so vague that I don't know if I would call it soreness so much as awareness. I was so entrenched in the idea that the pain would never go away that this is like some gift from the sky. Sure, everyone else knew I was being a drama queen :) I guess the real story is, and this comes as no surprise to anyone who has been through any adverse situation, it sucks like hell but then you pick up some perspective, you pick up some knowledge, and you pick up some gratitude. So that's all good - I'm kinda glad for that.

The plan, man...

I have been walking and I plan to do that 4 days a week for the next 2 weeks. I have returned to the gym and am doing a circuit 2 days a week which I'll just keep on doing. After the 2 weeks of walking, I don't have a specific program but there are a million beginner run 1 minute walk 4, run 2 minutes walk 3, etc. plans that I can choose from. I'll cruise around my books, magazines, and web sites and see what sounds right - and by right I mean nice and slow. And I'm ok with that right now, I know what rushing got me. But I'll definately be doing some running by the time I get to Ireland so that will be super super cool!

Seriously rethinking my sneakers...

When I first began running I was wearing my old New Balance cross trainers (which I never wore for crosstraining, I wore them for my part time waitressing job). When I decided I was really going to run, I thought I'd better look into some shoes. I have always thought I had a high arch, though not high enough to require special shoes under normal circumstances, but when I did the wet-foot-on-newspaper test I had the textbook high-arch print. When I went to the sneaker store, the one with the treadmill and the "experts," my feet were glanced at and I was told my arch "wasn't that bad." So I got shown a bunch of neutral shoes and they all felt fine walking around the store, and I didn't know any better at the time, so I got a pair of Nike Pegasus. They are very comfortable on my feet but in running, I alway had the sensation that my foot was being pushed inward during my stride, and I would try to compensate by forcing my outer foot more outward - in other words, trying to compensate my gait. When I started walking again recently, I went out and got some Dr. Scholl's arch supports. They definately help correct that inward motion but they elevate my heel too high so that it does not rest snuggly, resulting in a most unpleasant blister at my right achilles (most high kudos to Band-Aid's bliter bandages!!). So shitcan the arch supports.

Anyway, to make a long story longer - I need new sneaks, I need to be a more aware and informed running shoe consumer, and I need to do it prior to re-starting my running in (hopefully) about a week and a half. Any input from any suppinators would be highly valued.

Just to review...

From now on, you're welcome to come here to stroll down memory lane with me, but for the latest and greatest please come to



http://completerunning.com/running-in-place/

This appears to be cool…

It turns out that at the end of September I will be going to Ireland for several days. Evidently, one of the things it may promise to be while I’m there is wet – so I have been shopping around for waterproof/resistant stuff. One of the things it seemed to make sense to have was some non-cotton socks as I expect to be doing a lot of walking/hiking. At 12 bucks a pop, the prospect of buying several pairs of Coolmax socks seemed pretty daunting so I checked out the ol’ ebay and here's what I found . I got 8 pairs of Coolmax socks for $14.99 ($22.99 with S/H and insurance)! Even if they’re seconds, unless they’re completely deformed, I think I made out. Hell, if 2 of the pairs were useable I would have gotten my money’s worth. So I was pleased. Once I actually get them I will report further on their quality.

Thinking, always thinking, about the future…

While shopping yesterday, I went to an outdoor shopping center and made it a point to park at the far side of one end and walk to the other and back for my excursions. Not a huge parking lot, maybe a half mile by the time I walked to one end and back (leisurely, not briskly). The outcome? Some soreness, but not too bad. The upshot? Let’s walk!

I’ve been looking around on the internet, specifically for a post-injury training schedule. I did find this , which had some useful information but seemed like way too much for me right now (or in the near future). I was only running about 10 minutes before I got injured and this schedule suggests 5 minutes right off the bat – for me it sounds like too much, too soon. The schedule that I was originally using (before I got froggy and jumped ahead), from Prevention magazine, is unsurprisingly conservative and probably about right for me. Pfitzinger’s statement that it can take 90 days or more to heal a stress fracture completely was very comforting to me as the standard 6 – 8 weeks that I always read about has passed and I know I’m not completely healed as yet. It was good to hear that healing can take longer as I was starting to get paranoid that I would never be really be done with this.

Public commitment = public shame…
Tomorrow I will do something. I will move. (I’d do it now but it’s bedtime).

Just ONE moment to be sentimental...

Who, but the RBF, would be so supportive when an absoulute beginner started blogging about running 2 minutes straight? Who, but the RBF, would offer advice at every request, and praise every little step forward? Who but the RBF would patiently listen to me whine, lament, and make excuses - and continue to give me endless encouragement and hopefulness? If I was involved in a running club, or had friends who run (or even understand why I would run), it might be different, and I might have had alternative sources of support. But that is not the case at this time and that is why I am so tremendously, amazingly grateful to have stumbled in. The universe is good.

Just a brief intermission from the real concerns of life to crab about Blogger...


When I initiated this blog, Blogger assigned me www.running-in-place.blahblahblah and the the site could also be reached at running-in-place.sans the www. Ok, 2 ways to get there but when I make a new post only one of those sites will be updated right away (if I'm lucky). So my post yesterday may have shown up at the www site and not the other, and today's post may be vice versa. Depending on from whence you link, you may or may not see a new post for at least a few days - and longer in some cases. Template changes I've made to my sidebar show up in preview and remain in template but are not showing up on either URL, and probably won't for a couple of days.

You know, I'm so not picky about visual stuff - if the color isn't offensive and the font doesn't give you a headache I'm happy enough - but when I wanna post, dammit I wanna post - not post and wait 2 - 3 days before my post shows up here or there.

'Kay, that's all I've got for today.

I'm here...
 
     Uninspired, unmotivated, but here.  It has been a busy couple of weeks at work and my internet time has been minimal, but the real story is that I'm just being damn sluggish.  Looking back at the enthusiasm of my previous post, I feel a little embarrassed. 
 
So what's going on??? 
 
     I think I'm afraid.  I still think about running all the time, and any time I pass someone running when I'm driving I am like some rubber-necking voyeur, trying to watch them as long as I can in the rearview - having flights of imagination that it's me, or glimmers of hope that it eventually will be.  The thing is, even though the Dr. cleared me for running again, I still haven't because I'm still having pain.  Not alot, not hardly any - mostly soreness to lesser and greater degrees, particularly in the morning, strangely.  But enough to make me way more skittish than I would have imagined.  It's not related to weight bearing, it's related to range-of-motion, and so some stupid movement will remind me that I'm not healed and leave me completely discouraged despite a day that was otherwise pretty comfortable.  
 
     So I'm nervous - I sit and wonder if the pain will ever completely go away.  Common sense says it will but it's been long enough that it's hard to imagine not having it.  Eight weeks feels like a long time, and maybe it's really not in the scope of healing from an injury, maybe I'm just impatient.  But even though the doc gave me the ok to run - my gut is telling me that I shouldn't.  I am so scared of going out there and re-injuring myself in any way and being sidelined again.
 
So how's the crosstraining going?...
 
     Yeah, well...um.....
 
Some cheese with that whine...
 
     The real story is that I am being lazy.  I know I'm not ready to run just yet but there's a hundred other things I could do and I am really just dragging my feet.  I keep waiting for magical inspiration to come like a lightning bolt when I know that what it's always been about is just going ahead and doing it - making the time, making the effort, making the committment.  I'm just having such difficulty getting back there.
 
     So anyway, thanks for missing me :)  Thanks for the prompt, Jon !  I have been remiss in keeping up on RBF blogs and that makes me more sluggish because they are so motivational and encouraging to me.  I hope to be speaking the truth when I say I'm back!!
  
    "Care is taken that trees do not grow into the sky."   - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
 
 

Free at last...

My convalescence ends today! Went to the orthoped and heard everything I expected - yep it's a stress fracture (what?? a stress fracture??!?), yep it's healing right along, yep you can start running again (as in learn to walk - then run). I did get the "if you do what you did, you'll get what you got" talk, not that I haven't been ruminating on and bolstering myself against going down that wicked path again for the past 5 weeks! The doc cautioned me that I am healing - not healed - stressed rest days, not increasing too quickly, backing off if pain increases, etc. He can caveat all he wants - I am very very excited!!

So, silly as I tend to be, between 5/26/04 and this day I could have been bike riding, swimming, doing some weights - instead, I did not a thing. I'm not complaining - I wasn't motivated, I was grieving (I know, sounds dramatic), I was uninspired because I couldn't do the thing I most wanted to do. Now that I have the go ahead to work slowly back into a running program I'm all like, ok tomorrow I'll walk, the next day I'll bike, the next day I'll do weights, blah blah blah. Now I'm thinking I'll be Susie-crosstrainer. I guess I've been cut out of my psychological body cast :D

My real plan is to not do any running for a couple more weeks as I still do have some occasional pain - more from certain ranges of motion than from weight bearing, but I do plan to get back on my little trail and start walking walking walking, and I am seriously contemplating dragging the bike up from the basement. All of the RBF enthusiasm for biking, plus going on a bike ride with my sis yesterday is starting to wear me down! At this point, my thought is to walk for 2 weeks (and resist the urge to jog just a couple of steps quite yet), then evaluate where I am pain-wise. Hopefully, at that point I will be able to start a real gentle walk/run program. Gentle, slow, patient, kind...

I'm really happy!

Boilermaker Fever...

Well, this Sunday is the 27th running of the Boilermaker Road Race and the Utica area is really keyed up! My original plan was to run the 5K Training Run, which is the last 1/3 of the course, this year and swing for the race next year. The registration for this course usually closes about a month before the run, and even the thousands of positions to volunteer are filled well before the race. The community support is awesome - for the entire course the spectators are 3-deep on the sides of the roads, hootin' and hollerin'. I will definately be at the curb, cheering everyone on and thinking about next year!!! :D

Vindicated but crabby...

Yep, there it was - on my 3rd x-ray - healing tibial stress fracture! Finally!! I was beginning to feel like such a big baby - I knew something was wrong but my doc kept saying he couldn't see that anything was wrong (other than "arthritis"). He wouldn't ok a bone scan because he said it didn't act like a stress fracture and insisted I see a podiatrist before an orthopedist. So, one month later, almost to the day, I am finally diagnosed and will finally get to see the ortho (almost like it matters now). The pain has improved by about 60-70% in the past week and looking at a usual prognosis, I hope that I will be told I can start walking/running in another 2-3 weeks so it's definately a relief to a) have a concrete diagnosis, b) see a specialist and c) let go of the idea that I am just a big wuss (my body knows the truth but my head doesn't cut me much slack).

I am crabby with my doc, because he didn't seem to take my concerns seriously. I know he was just looking at things empirically but the symptoms and mode of injury fit, even if the location of pain didn't (his explanation being that most stress fractures are in the foot). In fairness, the podiatrist didn't think it was a fracture either at first, he was ready to chalk it up to tendonitis but I hounded him into taking some more pictures and there it was - smiling brilliantly.

I'm mostly mad at myself - to some degree because I wasn't more assertive with my doc. He is generally easy going and will order just about anything I ask for so when he balked at a bone scan I was surprised. I don't know if pushing him would have done any good, but I didn't so... I'm left with the feeling that I want to hand deliver the podiatry report to his office and say nyah nyah, told ya so.

The good from the bad...

Blessings in disguise are kind of like the gods delivering a lesson to you and saying nyah nyah, we told ya so. Part of me still wants to be angry with myself for what is ultimately an unnecessary injury - I did too much, too fast - classic. I got down on myself because I didn't think I was doing what "a runner" should be doing. I was mortified at the thought of running with other people and having to take a walk break, I was terrified of the idea of running a 5K and coming in last, I was embarrassed by how long it took me to run a mile. All of these expectations and comparisons I placed on myself – impatience!

So I am learning to run by not running, and I hope to be a better runner for it. Redefining myself as a runner will be an ongoing project, I imagine – moving slowly, learning patience, forgiving myself. Hopefully not to rule out working hard, testing my limits, pushing myself, finding ways to improve – but smarter (please, I hope I can be smarter).

Let's start with the fun stuff...

Just prior to leaving on vacation, I had the opportunity to do some white water rafting up north of me on the Black River, which is a Class III-IV (on 1-6 rating scale). From what I was told, the water was at a good level (high enough to have some good rapids, but not too overwhelming for a beginner like me). Thanks to the skill of our guide, we mostly just had to paddle like hell when ordered to do so and no one fell out and we hit no rocks. It was so great - I would do it every weekend if I could (afford it!), but boy was I sore for a few days afterward!


This was coming up on the biggest rapid of the day, called "The Crusher."


Heading into it (I am the second on the right - mouth wide open :D - I was counting strokes, not screaming, I swear!). My son is face down in the middle of the boat after getting knocked over by a wave.


I guess this was the climax! We are covered with water but we never lost the boat or had anyone fall out (though one guy came very close). One of the other boats in our group lost nearly everyone over the side on this rapid (no injuries).

Props to Reba yet again:
At the very beginning of the trip, the guide said that we needed a battle cry for each time we conquered a rapid - so with paddles raised above our heads, in heady defiance of peril, mother nature, and common sense - ONWARD it was! Thanks girl!!

Back in the real world...

No fracture, no stress fracture, some improvement. The Dx is "degenerative joint disease" (read: arthritis) and bone spurs on my achilles tendon. The pain finally began to subside 3 days ago and I haven't had to have the naproxen today. There's still pain but it is most definately lessened and that does my spirit good. I will be seeing a podiatrist and hope that there is a conservative way to address this.

Even though this Dx represents a chronic problem, I am actually relieved to discover that it's not an outright injury, but more of an exacerbation of a problem that already existed. Maybe that's strange, but it helps me to stop blaming myself. Also, the fact that this is something I will always have to be mindful of in the future, I will be forced to have patience and to be a little kinder to myself as I start running again.

Wretched soul searching (just a little)...

As I sit with my foot up, I've been reading No Need For Speed by John "the Penguin" Bingham. There was a part of me that, in the privacy of my own room, was embarrassed that I was reading it - like saying I accept that I may have limitations equalled I'm not good enough, I'm not a runner. As a person who wastes alot of time comparing myself to others, and making sure to find and highlight my shortcomings, I struggled during my short time running, with thinking of myself as a runner. Looking back, it was of such huge importance to me to not have to take walk breaks - that was my big IT - gotta ditch those walk breaks. Never mind that I added 3 minutes to my mile by trying to run it rather than taking short walk breaks periodically. I felt the need to rush it because I was worried that I was not a runner if I had to walk. Just about every chapter of John's book applied to me in regards to unrealistic goals, comparing yourself, and just finding the joy in just running.

What I'm slowly learning...

I am thinking that I am a runner - because all the time I have spent NOT running has committed me to running more than ever. The day I go out and walk one minute and run 15 seconds will be a very joyous day for me - and later down the road, I am ready to forgive myself in advance for taking walk breaks if I need to and remember how happy I am just to be running at all. I guess that's the nature of perspective - it's great to have it but it sucks to gain it.

Youth gone wild...

A couple of weeks ago, when my doc first mentioned arthritis in this troublesome ankle, I thought "dude, I am way too young to have arthritis!" Then I recalled the injury that likely led to my current debility - let's just say that I was in my early 20's, it was 3 or 4 in the AM, and I might have had an alcoholic beverage or two. Hopping on the old wooden bannister and sliding from second to first floor - side saddle style - seemed like a fun idea at the time. Being airborne for half the length of the staircase was fun too, until landing. The sprain was severe enough to cast and I was on crutches for 3 weeks. The funny part is, even though that ankle has bothered me at various times over the years - mostly going down stairs or in the AM when I get up (but infrequently) - I never made the connection between that long-ago injury and my current problems until the doc said "arthritis." The I was thinking: this totally makes sense, and now that I know, I can find a way to deal with it!! Anyway, the folly of youth comes back to bite me in the butt, yet again ;D